I think I have also found a way to better protect myself against the dark energies of the creatures here. I will attempt to call upon Valkon, with his powers over death, to grant me the blessing of a death ward. It will not protect me for long, but I feel that the time it does give will allow me to dispatch the cause of the dark energy, or make my escape from it. I do not feel a strong cause to tell the others but they are smart and will probably come up with it themselves.

I have been dreaming lately a disturbing dream. In it I am in the Library of the Elfs and alone with a young elven maid. It is late in the evening and a rage overcomes me and I take the elf against her will. The taking goes quickly making me feel powerful over the elf. I also feel satisfied doing the deed. I never reach the end of the act before waking but when I do awaken the power and satisfaction stays with me. I know I shouldn’t feel this way that this is some form of my hatred of the elfs, but I almost wish as I lie down to sleep that I will have the dream again so I can just see the elf suffer. I know this is wicked, and I should ask for help but I cannot. I know I can fight this and make use of the experience. Is this some how linked to my drow self or the fact that I have been traveling in the underdark? Or maybe the book again, but I haven’t read it recently?