Men die for causes. Is this what we lack in our own lives? If we could not have been able to raise both Kestrel and Blink, would their deaths been for a cause? Is there are no causes in adventuring merely for fun? I think that the answers for me might be that in the doing, the adventure of ones life, the adrenaline of one encounter, is worth my life, for a life live without these things is a life filled with boredom and regret.

I thought today of the deaths, my thoughts seem so mired in them of late, and think what would we have done if we could have only raised one of them? How could we have chosen between the two? Would the party have voted between which one we would raise? I would not been able to make that choice. Is this a weakness within me, my inability to choose an action that would not help all involve? I think not, but do the others share my feelings?

The fighting has begun over what to do with our treasure. The gold is a lot to ponder over. I am for bringing them back, but I just wish that greed wouldn't come into play. Maybe we should just take all the remaining gold and share it equally? Oh but then I am sure the argument would go up about the gold spent on the raising both Kestrel and Blink. I think I will just let the others decide this one.