I think that I might be able to break through a mental barrier I have been struggling with a spell of late. I have not been able to manipulate the forces necessary to get the spell just right. Maybe with a little more practice I will be able to prefect the spell. I bet the others will be surprise when I cast a disembodied hand.

It sorrows me to trade away the armor my mother left me. But I just could not come to keep it and not uses its value. The bag of holding will be much more useful to me and perhaps I will be able to better use the arcane spells to protect myself. I have read her letter over and over. Why she cannot see me and keeps us apart still hurts. How can I move on with out seeing her again?

Jay once said that I needed to leave things behind and move forward, yet I am dwelling in my past and can.t shake the things that helped to bring me to this point. I am close to becoming a true Mystic Theurgist, with the powers to control both the living and the dead. I will be able to shape and shatter life at my wimp. The others speak of the power that they might have, but if I am able to achieve my goals, I will have power beyond what any of them can imagine. Perhaps Malif knows how I feel, but he lacks a certain sight and now that he has mentioned the guild, what control will he have over his life, and at what price?

I have thought hard on the making of magical item as a business and feel it is not a worthwhile venture. I can make items pretty well and most time they do as I planned them to, but the price I can get for them barely cove the actual cost to make them. Also I think that I suffer some curse when I make these items, for each item I have made has made me forget a little that I have learned. This disturbs me greatly. There must be a way to prevent this but as of yet the book is not letting me in on that secret.