First I denied that it could be happen and thought I would somehow find a way out of my predicament. Was I wrong to think this? I have thought of things I could have tried to do, but hindsight is always a grander view. I have puzzled my way out of tough spot in the past but these creatures were beyond my ability. Their tactics were flawless, and at time it seemed they could read our minds and anticipate our actions. They worked so well together that they never once got in each other way nor failed to move to exactly the right place. We could learn from this as a group.

Next I became angered as the others left me to my death, yelling once that they were leaving and before I could even react there were gone leaving me to fend off the three creature alone and unready. I cursed their names and ask the gods why couldn’t Blink even stop and help defend me as I cast my fly spell. Vaugner tied to grab me as he rode by but he couldn’t get close enough to make a good attempt so I yelled for him to keep riding away. He did and the creature quickly subdued me and began finishing me off. I will say that my death gave Vaugner the time to get to safety, and at least my death was not in vain.

As the creatures parlayed me and repeatedly pummeled me, I remember trying to ask my god, if only this once, could he save me, I would do anything in return. It is silly to think that in the whole scheme of the world, my god would notice me calling to him and send me aid just because I called out to him. There are no others I thought that could help me. Do I really have no one willing to risk there life to save me?

So as I sat there bloodied and dying, pondering that their was no one I could call to, no one there for me when I needed them most, the despair of it all overwhelmed me. It was like a whirlpool sucking me down, I truly gave up. It was perhaps the most awful thing that has ever happen to me, giving up.

I think as my life essence flow from me and I became… Well it hard to explain really but I felt that in those last few moments a peace or acceptance of my fate. Maybe it was because Vaugner got away or maybe it was just because I became less emotional, and I could banish the fear of death and truly accepted my fate. Maybe it was a combination of all things in my life, but at the time I accepted my death and was ready to move on.

Everything happen so fast, I only write this down so I can come back later and better understand what happen. The emotions of it all were more than I expected and perhaps will haunt me for sometime. I know the way I view things has changed, but I think those changed happen before this, but my death and resurrection have reinforce the change. Only time will tell if the change is for the better.