Today we did a lot, but the thing I remember most was my failure to perform my duties. We found an ominous cave, man-made, but made to look lik it was natural. I was willing to go scout it out, but the party was unwilling to let me have these little monsters to use in case of an emergency. I get the feeling they think that I would let them go at the first sign of trouble, when all I wanted was to have some backup if the shit hit the fan. Really, I feel like some of these guys lack a healthy fear of death which is necessary for good judgement. Besides, it keeps you alive. Anyway, the party eventually decided not to give me the little guys and not have me scout. Still, I feel a sense of shame, as I was the logical one to go in. Perhaps I should have argued for the cloak of Elvenkind we were offered, but I really felt like it was fairer to the others and I really need the money to get that cool bow I saw back in Pavalar. I also have noticed that words like "fairer" and "shame" have entered my vocabulary lately. Perhaps the outside world make you grow up faster? I will need to be carefull not to become an old fart in the next week or so.

Feb 28:

Fuck! Today we encountered (I can't really use the word fought, because we just stood there like dorks) the first evil Belar I have ever even heard of. Fucking Klaus Vader, all in black and waving his big rod around at us demanding the statue! Kestrel is either really brave or incredibly stupid, or maybe both. He tried to talk this guy down, when he was clearly so worked up about the statue that he clearly just couldn't wait to get his rocks off on Kestrel. Sure enough, the big guy took the first load from the rod, right in the chest, and I thought, nice knowing you big guy. But amazingly this rod only looks bad ass, as Kestrel is still with us. Then Vernon tries to ride up to talk/attack him, and sure enough, he gets a wad of jizz in his face too! Thank the Gods that Malif has a good head on his shoulders and has called for help, because Tera showed up right then. She clearly knew Klaus and was stunned when he attacked her (I can't use the rod reference here because the visual image might make me lose it right here!) Teacher Tera is not only the hottest but she can kick ass, too! She let Klaus have it a couple of times with a cone of cold, and she took the fireball to the face to boot. I gotta say, I hope the Belar entertain themselves with human sex toys, because I want more than anything to sign up for that job. Seriously though, I will have to try to impress her with some thoughtfull questions tomorrow. Unrequited love/lust, what a bummer/hummer!